Why don’t Eskimos run marathons?

For those of you who have been tormented by the question that serves as the title of this post, I have some answers for you.

1. Dehydration sneaks up on you literally with EVERY BREATH and suddenly pretending you are a dragon running through the Germantown streets is not nearly as much fun. Until just recently, I have always associated dehydration with extreme heat and the morning after a night at the bars but now ‘running in the cold’ has jumped to the top of my list.

2. Ice is slippery. To my readers in warmer climates, that thing you use to cool down your Coke is a major pain in the ass (pun intended) when it covers the streets and sidewalks in sheets of translucent death.

3. Cleaning up the roads actually makes running harder! Take the difficulty of running through a few inches of snow and now add mounds at every intersection, unlevel piles where ever people decided the part of the sidewalk they are responsible for ends, and an even higher likelihood you will encounter the translucent death mentioned above. Dreadful.

Okay, I have gotten my complaining out of the way for the day. In reality I have very little to complain about. If the worst thing in my life at the moment is that some snow has made it inconvenient for me to train for a marathon I am willingly participating in then life has got to be pretty damn good, huh? However, I am dismayed that with every day that the Arctic Vortex hangs around I fall further behind in my training. So resulting to short runs through the better-maintained neighborhoods and a minuscule side of treadmill work will have to do in the meantime.

All my love.

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